AUTHENTIC SELF

      HI.I am Dami and the one thing about the authentic self that left me thinking was Vulnerability . I really don't know what to write cause I don't consider myself a person that shows any form of vulnerability, I don't like to talk about myself a lot mainly because I wouldn't know how to characterize myself .I am a person that has a lot of faces in different situations so, I would kind of say that  I do not show who I really am. Most of the people who call themselves my friends don't actually know anything about me. So if u ask them who Dami is they would probably talk about my brother his name is Tobi and he is four-ish and I absolutely adore him but, I digress this assignment is supposed to be about me and in order for me to talk about me I have to go back  and talk about my origin (Nigeria).

     Back home my mother is  a single mother though my father is still in the picture but my mother shoulders most of everything. She is a person who doesn't show any form of vulnerability I really cant say why but as a result of this I don't show any form of vulnerability at home or anywhere else. Also, as a result we are not close and she sees me as a selfish person ( though I have to admit I am). she would always say that my character is exactly like my fathers(in a bad way) but let me not go into that now. Anyways my lack of vulnerability stems from her she isn't really the cause but she is the main cause and because of that people have seen me as cold, unforgiving and the rest.
 
     There is one thing though , I remember vividly the first time my mother cried in front of me and I have to say that was a very uncomfortable experience that I would never like to repeat (I wasn't the cause of her tears by the way) I didn't know how to react and I have to say that I panicked at first and I tried to ignore it I mean she was silently crying so I could pretend not to see it but after a while I had to go to her and I just stood there and said rubbish (I remember that now and I smile but it wasn't so funny then); the words that came out of my mouth were incomprehensible .


      Anyway I remember that now I just think that if I had been willing to be vulnerable for her she wouldn't have been so sad for a long time (I am not blaming my self for her sadness am just saying) .So with that experience in mind I believe that my life needs a little more vulnerability . I just wonder if I am able or even willing to do it(I mean it not easy to put ones self out there).
 From the video we watched in class about vulnerability the woman made it sound like not been vulnerable means that a person is broken (and I don't consider my self as such) and needs to be fixed but I wonder what else does vulnerability help do. I mean how does vulnerability help me aside from the obvious relationship change. Does it mold our character ?. And I also wonder when does showing vulnerability become too much or when aren't we showing it enough. I simply wonder . Anyways this is all I have got I mean I cant come up with anything else . I just hope this is enough for my assignment.