GREAT INFLUENCES

  
    When I started this class I thought we were only going to talk about communication not ourselves or that we would go this deep into the topic of communication . Anyway since we are talking about the influences of perception I want to talk about one that has ruled a lot of things I do or how I react to certain things and that influence is stereotype .What I focus on mainly is how people look not necessarily their race but how they actually dress or look or behave .I believe in the saying that first appearance is what matters most (I am pretty sure that's not how the saying goes but that what I remember for now) cause to me if I meet someone the first time and the person looks haggard or person acts like a vulgar or prideful person I immediately assume such person is from the back street or  that is the way the person behaves everyday . And if I meet someone who is shy or looks calm I immediately assume such person is stupid and a push over. And I am always right but,  one day I met someone who finally proved me wrong and it was from the most unexpected person.

   Surprising I met this friend of  mine through another friend who lived with my mum and I at that time anyway one day she came to my house her name is Bunmi (don't bother pronouncing it I don't think u can) (probably another assumption on my part as I am sure that some of you might be able to pronounce it) anyway bunmi came to my house and  after spending some time I deduced that she was this quiet calm and patient and shy person (in order words she is stupid and a pushover according to me)and so I decide that we didn't have anything in common so we couldn't be friends and I think she noticed that I had begun to look down slightly on her (I don't like people who are pushovers or stupid though sometimes I am one)but she let it be. anyway she left and I didn't see her again for another two weeks or so and then my friend that was living with my mum and I decided to go and see her and since I was bored I decided to go too .We got to her house and I was very surprised( a pleasant one)


      Bunmi was a totally different person I mean she was still the same calm, patient person but she wasn't the shy, stupid person that I though she was nor was she a push over . I realized that she was a very brilliant and bright I mean she could hold up an intelligent conversation, she commanded attention and she was even the one ordering people around that day I was so surprised I was quiet through out my stay there that day was just one of those days when things just change your perspective for the better and I  have to say that that taught me . I still do it now but not as much as I did it before (which I am sure my mother is very grateful for since I practically judged all of her friends).
  

AUTHENTIC SELF

      HI.I am Dami and the one thing about the authentic self that left me thinking was Vulnerability . I really don't know what to write cause I don't consider myself a person that shows any form of vulnerability, I don't like to talk about myself a lot mainly because I wouldn't know how to characterize myself .I am a person that has a lot of faces in different situations so, I would kind of say that  I do not show who I really am. Most of the people who call themselves my friends don't actually know anything about me. So if u ask them who Dami is they would probably talk about my brother his name is Tobi and he is four-ish and I absolutely adore him but, I digress this assignment is supposed to be about me and in order for me to talk about me I have to go back  and talk about my origin (Nigeria).

     Back home my mother is  a single mother though my father is still in the picture but my mother shoulders most of everything. She is a person who doesn't show any form of vulnerability I really cant say why but as a result of this I don't show any form of vulnerability at home or anywhere else. Also, as a result we are not close and she sees me as a selfish person ( though I have to admit I am). she would always say that my character is exactly like my fathers(in a bad way) but let me not go into that now. Anyways my lack of vulnerability stems from her she isn't really the cause but she is the main cause and because of that people have seen me as cold, unforgiving and the rest.
 
     There is one thing though , I remember vividly the first time my mother cried in front of me and I have to say that was a very uncomfortable experience that I would never like to repeat (I wasn't the cause of her tears by the way) I didn't know how to react and I have to say that I panicked at first and I tried to ignore it I mean she was silently crying so I could pretend not to see it but after a while I had to go to her and I just stood there and said rubbish (I remember that now and I smile but it wasn't so funny then); the words that came out of my mouth were incomprehensible .


      Anyway I remember that now I just think that if I had been willing to be vulnerable for her she wouldn't have been so sad for a long time (I am not blaming my self for her sadness am just saying) .So with that experience in mind I believe that my life needs a little more vulnerability . I just wonder if I am able or even willing to do it(I mean it not easy to put ones self out there).
 From the video we watched in class about vulnerability the woman made it sound like not been vulnerable means that a person is broken (and I don't consider my self as such) and needs to be fixed but I wonder what else does vulnerability help do. I mean how does vulnerability help me aside from the obvious relationship change. Does it mold our character ?. And I also wonder when does showing vulnerability become too much or when aren't we showing it enough. I simply wonder . Anyways this is all I have got I mean I cant come up with anything else . I just hope this is enough for my assignment.

introduction

hi my name is Damilola Adebayo .people just call me dami for short

Adebayo damilola

Hi my name is Damilola Adebayo .People call me dami for short since nobody can seem to pronounce it right. Anyway this is my first year and my first time taking comm class.